THE WOODS

Dominic Me·gam Sangma 

 

He almost gave up, was almost on the verge of losing that last hope, when exhausted and disillusioned he squatted on the ground, fell back and lie flat on his back staring at the sky through the thick canopies of the ancient trees- he didn’t know what time of the day it was, for he had lost the sense of time and space wondering aimlessly in this thick woods, God knows for how long; he had no idea how he got into it, though he sensed that something might have happened before he got lost into this woods but he could not recall or remember what had happen before this, moreover the sudden realization of this  new space when he regained his consciousness rendered  his mind into complete disorientation; that he could not take time to think with calm mind on how he got entangled into this wild woods, because  this sudden awareness of himself that he got stuck  in the middle of nowhere surrounded by thick forest and the simple thought that it might be filled with wild animals awaken his instinct to just get up as soon as possible and search a way out of this forest, since then he has been drifting without any clues, not even having a slightest hint of finding exit out of this maze,  so he has been walking this way and that, calling out for help, struggling hard to trace some old footprints of hunters or woodcutters that might have passed through this forest or at least a trail or  a path of an animals that might give him some direction to head forward; if not to the exit, at least to give him a sense towards it, but unfortunately  every trail or path that he guessed might be made by a hunter or a woodcutter was actually the impression created by the sunlight streaming through the foliage or a groove dug out by a rain water, so he realized either this illusionary path  gave him a branch-out direction that can lead him to anywhere and everywhere but not to the point of exit or it would give him only incomplete direction or a direction that begins and ends at the same point, the realization of this warp direction was felt only once he was already deeper and further away from the point he started off, in the beginning of his search he uttered prayers with every steps he took- to give him a strength to move on, to give him a clear sense of direction so that he would be able to find his way back home, though he has no idea how home feels like, and where he belongs, and his hope to recover from the daze that struck him in the beginning further deteriorate when he sensed the gaze of wild animals that might be ready to prance on him at any moment , there was a smell of something beastly in the air, most probably lurking behind him   by sniffing on a fresh strange  smell that waft through this jungle, he felt it so close that his hair on the nape of his neck stood up like a defending sting of a scorpion, he immediately turned back and spin around to make sure that he was not being stalked or at least to face the beast and to see what it looks like, fortunately he didn’t see anything yet apart from few monkeys jumping from one tree to another and a slow lories crawling up the bamboo trunk, so he moved forward as fast as he could, or at least he thought that he  was moving forward, it also occurred to his thought that may be, he was actually moving back and forth or moving in circle, he had no idea whatsoever,  his prayers didn’t seem to work, may be his prayers were not strong enough he thought, actually he didn’t remember how prayers were done anyways, and with that his desperation point reached its’ peak, so he sees no option rather than to howl at God with his hand raise to the sky; challenging, cursing and tempting  Him to prove His existence by saving him from this ordeal but his challenge remain unmet and his temptation too naïve for God to come down and rescue him from this jungle, in fact he felt as if he saw a big eye shining forth from something that looks like a triangle, could that be God’s eye he thought, maybe He is having fun looking at me from above, seeing me drifting hither and yon; therefore he struggled to climb up one of the tall tree so that he might have a clear panoramic view of the forest but unfortunately even a change in perspective could not give him a hope to get out of this woods; for when he perched himself on the topmost branch of the tree he could see nothing but trees and canopies of trees to the expanse  that his eyes could see and his hope  was completely shattered to face the stark reality of his situation, as he slide down the trunk of the tree he  became aware of the fatigue of his body for the first time, his feet grew  weak and numb, taking another step became almost impossible but still somehow he dragged leaning and supporting himself from one tree trunk to the next as if waiting for some miracle or for some divine intervention to break out but instead he felt hungry, was ready to swallow anything that could be eaten but he was not really sure if this delicious, juicy-looking berries were edible, he still didn’t want to take chance yet, so he dragged on to the next tree trunk and to the next until he suddenly stop, gasping; for he felt that he heard something, he heard as if there were some villages nearby,  so he stood still trying to concentrate, straining his ears, holding his breath to detect the direction from where the sound emanates  but his efforts bears no fruit, he could hear nothing anymore; may be it was just the memories of the sound of his village that he could hear from the nearby forest whenever he went out for the adventure with his friends, but he was not really sure right now whether they really had that adventure in his childhood, everything became so unreal that he felt he was sinking into the mire of deception, he had no strength left to pull himself out from this quagmire of illusion but let himself be dragged down to the abyss of hopelessness-   exhausted and disillusioned he squatted on the ground fell back and lie down on his back staring at the sky through the thick canopies of the wild trees, tears rolls down from the corner of his eyes, I gave up he uttered, as if submitting himself to the invisible gods of the forest for whom the hair on the back of his neck stood up like a thorn, of whose gaze he sensed it on his body, let them jump on me, devour my body and soul he murmured challenging the gods of forest, I will wait here till my last breathe, will watch the first beast that come to tear my flesh, so he waits with bated breath but after  a while his breath followed a certain rhythm and unconsciously he managed to attain calmness of mind, his heartbeat came back to normal and he felt at peace for the first time, as his senses revived, something waft through his nostrils,- a fragrance, a strange aroma that stirred him back from his urge to die to live again, it’s a trick, a deception ! He immediately thought, but the scent became clearer and stronger, it brought water into his mouth, so he immediately got up sniffing through the air and he knew for certain that it’s not illusion, that his mind was not playing trick on his olfactory organs and nerves, in fact the smell made his head clearer and endowed him with a dose of strength to get up and walk following the smell, it’s such a sweet smell that it made him forget about his dire situation and enabled him to concentrate on the trail of this sweet aroma, he was so focused on tracking the source of this smell that  he decided to close his eyes and  let himself be led through the forest only by the trail of this strange smell- for he believed that this smell was sent by some divine power and only by having full faith in it, he will be salvaged and indeed he walked through the forest with such smooth gait that he didn’t bump into any tree trunk or stumbled over protruding roots or toppled by the creepers that has dominated the forest’s soil, after he walked that way  for quite a while, he could hear the buzzing of bees heading towards the source of the smell, he sense the fluttering of butterflies moving towards the same direction and he felt the wind on his body created by flapping wings of many birds flying over his head towards that strange smell, everything seems to be moving, crawling and running towards it, there ought to be something there that attracts all these creatures,  he deduced it in his mind, if not the path or a trail or a sound that  couldn’t lead him anywhere at least this strange sweet fragrance gave him direction to move towards some destination; that gave him hope to go on, a strength to push forward, if not to the exit, at least to something that pleases his senses, as he head towards it like a somnambulist with his eyes close, he felt the intensity of light falling on his closed eyelids becoming stronger and brighter, and even the smell became more distinct and stronger, though it was certain now that he was quite close to the origin of this sweet strange smell  but still he refrained himself from opening his eyes, for he could not afford to lose his way by trusting on his other sense organs anymore, so he was determined to shut his eyes and focus only on the smell until and unless he was so sure about locating the  exact spot of the origin of this mysterious smell, then all of a sudden the humming of bees, the chirping of the birds and the cries of the different creatures  became louder and clear and it all seems to be coming from one spot above which they were hovering or perching on it, so when he finally opened his eyes he was awed by what he saw- a magnificence sight to behold !  A colourful extravagance of butterflies, bees, other winged insects and birds of different feathers flocking together in a tree that stood looming above all the other trees of the forest, it stood in the middle of the vast grassy clearing encircled by the woods as if this tree was enthroned by the forest itself, he was choked by the overwhelming emotion generated by the beauty of this mysterious tree, how could this be possible? He wondered, to be able to bloom in full glory with such beautiful flowers; serving bees and butterflies to collect the best of pollen grains and to suckle on the best of nectar and at the same time bearing fully ripe fruits drooping from the branches; for the animals to relish on them and the whole atmosphere was suffused by the sweet fragrance of it, could this be a tree of life? He thought, it dawn on him now that the very fact of losing in this wild woods has its purpose- a beckons to witness the splendor of creation, hypnotize by all of these, he inched towards the tree until he stood close enough to pluck the fruits from one of the drooping branches by its weight, his lungs was expanded by its fragrance, the shape and the luscious red color of the fruits salivate his mouth, none of the animals or birds or the bees seems to mind his presence, they are in their own world, so he reached out his hand and pluck one of the fruits and bit on it, it melted on his mouth and the taste that revealed on his taste bud  was a total rapture, this taste was something out of this space and time, he didn’t remember how many of them he had eaten until he was so full that he had to sit back leaning on his arm and simply admire this wonder of creation that offer itself with full grandeur; such sense of bliss pierced through his being  that he could not help but sob like a child unrestrained,  along with the comfort induced by the  shade of the tree and the melodious lullaby-like effect created by the humming of various insects, the buzzing of bees  and the chirpings of birds, he was intoxicated by its’ taste and was free from all worries, as he gazed at the streaming sunlight through the canopy of this tree, he felt so light as if he might simply drift into the air and disappears into the sky but he heard somebody calling out a name and the name was so familiar to his ears that he almost response to it, ‘ I am here’, he found himself walking through the street which was so familiar as if he had walked on it for countless time, it almost felt that this street would lead him straight to the village which he knew like a back of his hand and being on it, he felt the sense of belonging for the first time, everything seem so familiar that he actually understood the experience of being in dejavu, he heard the name being called again and when he looked towards the direction of the voice on the other end of the street, being veiled by the fog; he saw a woman on and off through the floating fog, waving at him and beckoning to come, ‘mother’ he uttered a word instinctively, he ran towards it but the distance between them seems ever stretching, separating them at a same distance continuously, it seems so close  yet so far to reach where he belong, the only thing  that was constantly passing was time, it was only now did he realized that the intensity of light around him has grown weaker and every sounds that surrounds him started to fade until everything was pall by deafening  silent, uneasiness crept into his heart, a chill run through his body that slit  through the veil of his dream and brought him back to reality- he was still under the shade of the tree shivering with cold, he had no idea for how long he slept, he looked around and observed that the sun was already setting, the whole forest was settled with such uneasy silent; every creatures that were hovering above or perching on it were all retired for the day, every blooming flower had close their bud, all the leaves of the tree were slightly drooped  as if exhausted by serving the creatures of the forest whole day, the tree seems to be ready for a deep sleep, and it seems to him that he was no more welcome by it, he felt the embarrassment of over staying, he felt abandoned and lonely, he yearned to go home, he wants to belong somewhere, so he decided to leave, doesn’t matter where, at least he had to leave this  spot for this moment, he needs to leave now at this very moment, the sooner the better, he could not wait for any other suitable moment because he knew there would be no suitable moment better  than this very moment,  every other moment would be replica of the moment just passed by,  there is no point hoping for better moment to get out of this, waiting for that right moment to leave will only delay his arrival at somewhere,  its important for him to arrive somewhere, he didn’t know where but somewhere beyond this forest, somewhere, where he might feel at home, where he would not feel the need to arrive at someplace else than that where he would arrived after leaving this place, and at this moment there would be no better guide than his own instinct to get out of this woods, his instinct told him to get up and first walk out from the shade of this tree, walk towards the last rays of  the light lingering  on the forest from the setting sun, walk towards that light which was fast disappearing beyond the horizon, but first walk out of the shade of this tree, only did he realized now the  hugeness of the tree, the amount of area spread out by the canopy of the tree seems never ending, with the setting of sun, the shade of the tree magnified, not satisfied by his own walking he started  to run at least to get out from the shade of the tree before the sun sink beyond the horizon but no amount of running could get him out from the shade of the tree and before long the sun set and the darkness began to crept in from all side and everything visible merged with the boundless darkness and he exist no more in the visible, he could only hope now that there will be light after darkness.